P.A.N.I.C.S. Episode 1

P.A.N.I.C.S. Episode 1 is the first installment of the four-part animated series, P.A.N.I.C.S., released by Rooster Teeth.

Synopsis

As Bravo team moves into the facility, their newest recruit, Frank, begins to narrate the story with internal dialogue. It is quickly revealed that he is in fact speaking out loud and annoying the team. When confronted about it, Frank replies that it calms him, as he is very nervous about his new job. The team, after letting their annoyance be known, inform Frank that they actually never see any paranormal activity, that in reality they simply run in, waste some time, run back out and say they chased off the ghosts, and get their paychecks.

As Bravo 1 rambles on about how their bosses expect them to chase off ghosts with machine guns, something sneaks up behind him and drags him away. The rest of the team become frightened, and attempt to figure out what happened to Bravo 1, while he can be heard screaming in pain. The episode ends with Bravo team realizing that something is stalking them, to which the Chief expresses his dismay at having to write a report on it.

Video

• P.A.N.I.C.S. Episode 1

Transcript

Fade in to a soldier peering around a corner
Some Soldier:	Alright, all clear, mov'er up.
Second Soldier:	Roger that.
A couple soldiers shuffle in to position
Second Soldier:	Bravo 2, you assist Bravo 1. Bravo 3, I need you to secure the perimiter and make sure everyone's locked and loaded.
Third soldier with Frank written across the back of his jacket:	It was first mission with Bravo Squad. We'd been called in to investigate some paranormal activity around an old warehouse. Something about a little girl ghost. I guess they figured five guys with guns could handle one little girl. I only hoped they were right.
Fourth soldier wearing a gas mask:	Hey man, would you just shut up already?
Second Soldier:	Bravo 3 hey, three! You listenin' to me?
Bravo 3:	Sorry Chief, the new guy's doing that wild narrating stuff again. Keeps distracting me.
Chief:	Frank...
Frank:	Yes Sir?
Chief:	I thought I told you to stop talkin' to yourself.
Frank:	Oh. Sorry, it just helps calm me down. ...I'm nervous.
First Soldier:	Well chew some gum or somethin'. That running commentary's freakin' me out.
Fifth Soldier:	Yeah. And don't talk about me in the past tense. That's rude.
Bravo 3:	And don't call me the gas mask guy. I have a name you know. It's Bravo 3!
Frank:	Sorry everybody, sorry, it's just my first day and I'm a little nervous, alright? I know it's hard to believe but I've never actually seen a ghost before.
Fifth Soldier:	Neither have we, but you don't hear us making monologues about how dark the hallway is, or how it always feels like somethin's right behind us.
First Soldier:	Okay, now you're freakin' me out, stop it you assholes!
Frank:	You guys haven't seen a ghost before? I thought that's what this squad does! Hunts ghosts and weird stuff!
Bravo 3:	Just because we hunt some freaky-ass shit, doesn't mean we ever find anything.
Fifth Soldier:	I don't even believe in ghosts.
Frank:	What!?
First Soldier:	Me neither.
Frank:	Well then what do you guys do all the time?
First Soldier:	We collect the easiest paycheck on Earth, that's what we do.
Bravo 3:	Yep. Some secretary'll feel a chill down her spine, or a coffee mug moves across the conference table, they call us in.
Fifth Soldier:	We show up, look around, say we saw some weird stuff, and that we chased it off, case closed, Miller time!
Bravo 3:	Let's have a cold one.
Chief:	I do still have to write reports.
Frank:	You guys are a bunch of phonies! This is ridiculous!
First Soldier:	I'll tell you what's ridiculous, they arm us with a machine gun capable of firing three hundred rounds a second, and they expect us to use it to fight spirits? Hai mean, come on, what's this thing gonna do? I may as well try to stab it with a dinner fuck!
He gets dragged off by something
Chief:	What the hell is a dinner fuck? Bravo 1? Hey, where's Bravo 1?
Bravo 3:	He was standin' right there a second ago.
Chief:	I didn't ask where he was a second ago, I'm askin' where he is now.
Fifth Soldier:	Alright, calm down, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this.
Bravo 1:	(screaming from around the corner where he was dragged off to) Oh my God, no! No OW! AHHH! Whaaaaaaaow!
Bravo 2 (by process of elimination):	For instance-
Bravo 1:	I'm gonna die!
Bravo 2:	Maybe he decided to go in the next room.
Bravo 1:	Somebody help me!
Bravo 2:	And make bone crunching noises?
Bravo 1:	AAAOW!
Bravo 2:	And scream at the top of his lungs.
Bravo 1:	Oh my God that was my leg!
Frank:	So when's the part when we say we-
Bravo 1:	Oh!
Frank:	pretend like we chased it away?
Bravo 1:	That's higher up on the same leg, AHH!
Chief:	Oh man, I am really not lookin' forward to writin' the report on this one.
Bravo 1:	Oh my God, if someone doesn't help me I'm not gonna be alive, OOOOHH! Oh my God I'm gonna die, I need help! Ahahahahahohow, ohohohohoohw, ohow!